I sit at my desk, my hands on the keyboard of my laptop ready to type. I’m looking around my office, at my daughter’s years of artwork on the wall, my messy desk littered with empty coffee cups, my monthly budget posted on the wall (as if that’s going to keep me from impulse buying) along with the daily affirmations I wrote out years ago to get me through the day, the hour, sometimes minutes.
I take a wine gum from the pack that I opened a few nights ago when I was feeling stressed out about life and look at my dogs curled up at my feet.
This is the start of a new journey for me but where to start? My 20+ years experiences being married to a man with BPD/NPD? Infidelity? Divorce? C-PTSD? Co-Parenting with a No-contact spouse? A spouse’s suicide? Helping your kids grieve the death of their dad? Crisis counseling for children and teens? Starting over? The struggles of being a single mom? Financial stress? Dating? Running a business?…….Phew
You see, I experienced ALL of these things and I’m still dealing with much of it and struggling to cope some days.
It seems like for some lucky few, they know where they’ll be in 5 years, but quite frankly, most days I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow. I know where I’d like to be – preferably on an island with a cocktail in my hand ha ha…. but seriously, I know I have some insights to share; it’s just working out which of those insights are worthy of being shared with the world, with you, the reader. Right now I’m figuring it out as I go, and on those days when things make sense, I’ll be sharing them with you, hopefully over a glass of wine.
Enjoy.
Such a great post! Like you I have no idea what tomorrow brings, but we will be ready for it and tackle it like everything we have to this point. Wishing you the best of luck in all your tomorrows!
Yay! I’m so proud of you ! I can relate to several of those things, ( CPTSD, grieving my dad’s suicide, starting over – many times! financial stress, running a business ) and can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it must be to have the other things piled on top. You are a strong brave soul and an inspiration to many ! Blessings and a hug ~
Thank you so much Amber! I’m hoping through this blog, I’ll be able to connect and bring peace and hope for those with similar stories and create a support group to turn to through tough times.